When I gave my life to Christ it was without fanfare. In that moment of surrender, simple words lifted from my heart to His. Kneeling on the floor in Livermore, CA, face buried in my hands, feeling so exposed. It was the most silent I remember ever being before God. I didn’t know what to say, and it certainly wasn’t fancy. Just these humble words …. “Ok Lord. I don’t know what this means or what’s next, but ok”. In an instant everything changed. I had made the decision and there was no turning back. God’s love had redeemed me. I was His and He was mine.
At first you couldn’t see it on the outside, but it was happening deep within. Over time the lord did His work of healing, growing and pruning, shaping and developing, challenging and encouraging.
Jesus led me into unknown places. In following I learned to trust Him.
I followed Him into my third and final marriage. I followed Him from CA to Lyman SC, where He planted us at LifeSong Church and nurtured us. I followed Him to the Quad Cities of IL, where we have been serving this house a little over 14 months. And the journey of obedience continues, as we’re about to follow Him into my husbands first pastorate, back in SC.
As I prepare my heart and home for yet another move, I reflect on this season. My seat has literally and figuratively been in the second row. Symbolically having my pastor and his wife’s backs, but also physically and spiritually behind them in every way. Now as my husband answers the call to pastor, it occurred to me that someone I don’t yet know will soon direct me to take the empty seat in the front row. Me. The second row girl. I don’t know whether to laugh at the lord’s sense of humor, or cry in humility.
If you’re like me you don’t take proper stock of things until you’re in transition. There is so much that has happened in our time here. So many people we love and will miss. So much I have learned.
If I had to boil down everything gleaned from Calvary into one thought, it’s this …. loving deeply is worth the risk.
Thats true for those who have loved us and true for those we have loved. Loving deeply is worth it. As true as it is has been here, it will also be in our first appointment. As Mark and I leave this place to go to our new one, that love both remains and goes with us. As God has loved us, so we will love, choosing to risk and experience the joy of loving others deeply.
“Ok Lord. I don’t know what this means or what’s next, but ok.”