Bittersweet

The past few months I spent in preparation for an important, life-changing event. Everything I did was with focus on mission. It was as though I was training for a marathon physically, spiritually and emotionally. I remember telling Mark that once the race was run …. Then what?

And that’s where I am today. But it’s not “then”, it’s “now”? We’ve already gone, served, fallen in love and returned home.

I tried journaling but let the days go by without written documentation. It’s not the facts that I want to capture, but the feel. I want to close my eyes and relive experiences over and over in my memory, see those smiling faces, hear laughter that overcomes language barriers, dwell on the joy of simple living and powerfully inspiring worship, see the raw natural beauty that glorifies our Creator.

I am ever thankful for the love and support of my friends, both prayerfully as well as financially. I am amazed by God’s providence and the way He whittled our out of pocket expenses from “impossible” to “manageable”. I am blessed by team members who gave selflessly to help Mark and I meet our goals.

Pastor Lefleur instructed us to give ourselves time to process everything, and there is a lot. God is powerfully at work there. He is at work here in me as I attempt to avoid thinking about what we left behind. How can we resume “normal” life when it’s anything but? As I review captured memories, my heart pines to return. In the meantime I’ll rest in the Lord and seek His guidance for the appropriate response.

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